Been meditating today on how much the Lord has been teaching me to wait on Him.
Looking back on the last 7 months I see so many times when my natural tendency would have been to “make it happen” whether it was a work situation or finding a place to live.
Back in March I had a great opportunity to go to a Philanthropy conference in Chicago and find a bunch of prospective book projects. I could have easily made it happen and found the money from somewhere to go, but I decided if God really wanted me to go HE would make a way (not ME). He didn’t, so I didn’t go down that road.
Another opportunity came up where I could have had a part time job in exchange for free rent right here in Enumclaw. The 55+ community was owned by someone at my church and they were excited about the possibilities…and I was at the point of being tired of living in a 100 square foot rented room. Even though I dearly love my “landlord” and had no complaints with the living conditions, I was just anxious to get on with my life. I really wanted that situation to be my answer, but I just couldn’t move forward with that either.
Countless times I went on a resume rampage, sending out dozens of resumes, even building a blog called “Why Hire Athena Dean?” Overall, I guess I have really struggled with the waiting and the lesson God wanted to teach me. But I see now that it was a good lesson.
Had I made things happen in any of these other opportunities, then how would I ever know if my success was God or me? I would have always wondered, in the back of my mind…is this really God’s will or did I put this thing together?
As I pack up my room in anticipation of moving into the Lord’s clear provision for me, I was struck by the scripture I’d taped up to my mirror when I first moved in here on February 1. It said:
God takes care of all who stay close to Him.
The closer I stay to Him, waiting on Him for clear direction and provision, the more He takes care of me. Instead of me doing my independent strong woman “thing” like I have in the past, I am finally getting the hang of depending on Him.
I had to chuckle when the gal who owns the house God has provided for me to rent texted me tonight to say she wasn’t ready for me to move in tomorrow, and wouldn’t be done getting everything ready for me until Tuesday or Wednesday. Of course my first response was “Waaaahhhhhhhh! I want it NOW!”
But I just had to take a chill pill and realize I’m on God’s timetable not my own, He provided the work so I can afford this house, and He provided the house and a landlord who has a heart to see me blessed with this sanctuary of a home.
Good things take time, and I am learning to embrace the waiting. As I do so, I am gaining new strength, and singing a new song!
Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.