Ten Month Anniversary – You Can See It In My Eyes

Today marks 10 months since God opened my eyes to the deception I’d lived under for 12 long years.

It has been an amazing journey of having literally every scripture that I’d been taught out of context righted in my heart and mind.

The biggest delusion I believed in Sound Doctrine was that my salvation was at risk, and that there was more I had to do to earn it, namely whatever Tim Williams determined was God’s will for my life.

Believing this allowed him the ability to manipulate and control my entire life based on fear.

A close second was that unity with the brethren means you never question any decision or action taken by “the man of God”.

Believing this allowed the leadership in Sound Doctrine to do as they pleased without any consequence on their part.

As I sat in church yesterday and listened as Pastor Ross shared scriptures on unity in the body, it was so refreshing to hear the scripture being preached IN CONTEXT and in a way that builds up believers rather than tearing them down.

And this morning I opened my devotional, Jesus Calling, and I am reminded again that He is always available to me…that once I have trusted Him as Savior, He never distances Himself from me…any distance I feel is just that, a feeling, not to be confused with reality.

Looking back at who I became in those 12 years is sobering. I went from a strong, successful, business owner to one who allowed my emotions to be influenced by a master manipulator, all in the Name of God, leaving me second guessing God’s voice, His plan for my life, and His will for me.

They say a picture’s worth a thousand words. Below you can see the reality of how I was robbed of the joy of my salvation by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. How easily I was deceived because the wolf quoted so many scriptures and “seemed” so godly. But scripture is clear that Satan masquerades as an angel of light…and wasn’t it the Father of Lies who used scripture to tempt Jesus? How true it is that if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!  You can see it in my eyes…the depth of the darkness I believed was enormous.

I am eternally grateful for a faithful God who, ten months ago today, opened my darkened eyes so I could see, gave me the courage to admit that I had been duped, and has since been restoring all that the locusts had eaten.

9 thoughts on “Ten Month Anniversary – You Can See It In My Eyes

  1. Amazing! Yep, the pictures are revealing. I have mentored a young woman for 13 years. When we first met her eyes were some of the most intensely dark eyes I had ever seen. It was as if she had been oppressed her entire life (which she had). She had to literally learn how to love in a healthy way and to feel again as she had been numbed to the world through life’s circumstances. How odd to teach someone how it feels to be excited and the appropriate ways of how to respond yet that is exactly what she needed. A coach. Over the years significant changes were made and continue to this day. I think one of her proudest accomplishments is that she no longer hugs “like a tree” and better understands unconditional love. I remember looking at her one day and making a statement about her eyes – how much brighter, lighter, happier, less intense they were. It was as if the light was beginning to shine from the inside out!

    I am so happy for you, Athena, and I appreciate your transparency. Although it’s been a long 10 months, I can only see how the next 10 months will bring prosperity, spiritual growth, and the best thing . . . more light.

    I just love that Jesus Calling devotional book. There’s always something that jolts me into a reality check.

    • Thanks Karen, for your willingness to walk along side those who are in the dark and coaxing them out with God’s unconditional love. Keep it up! And as for me, you’re right…I’m sure God will continue to show off His mercies and grace and abounding love over the next ten months…and I’m ready! Big hug to you my friend!

  2. I wanted to connect with other people who are blogging about this subject. I, too, am a survivor. I spent twenty years in a cult in Nashua, NH. Please check out my blog at cultsurvivorblog.wordpress.com. Thank you for your courage to get the word out.

    • So good to hear from you Georgie…and my, oh my, we do have a LOT in common. Just read a few of your entries and it is amazing the similarities in our experiences…I guess the scriptures are right to say there’s nothing new under the sun! Keep speaking out and standing up for the truth!

  3. Athena,
    You may be able to help a continuing victim of Sound Doctrine brainwashing. I do not know what else to do except keep on praying. Young mom “Rachel” is moving back to Enumclaw after years of shunning. She was “adopted” as a daughter and raised in that group. She and her husband (now ex) left and they lived back east then in the Midwest. I am heart sick over the move with her two little ones. I fear they are moving into danger. You probably know the young lady and ex.

    If you can advise or suggest support I would be so happy. She has been a blessing in our small Midwestern Christian Church. Thank you and may God continue to bless you.

    A concerned “adopted Dad and Mom”

    • So, so sad. This seems to be the SD “strategy” of late. Find all the ex-members that Tim Williams has “disfellowshipped”…those who have been shunned and told they couldn’t repent adequately…many of them still believing the lie that SD is the truth…and “allow them back into fellowship” so that they can have another chance to repent. This is the 2nd person I’ve heard has been lured back into the cult. Such strong deception, and so typical of the manipulation that depicts Sound Doctrine. The other one who has been lured back in was told many years ago (by Tim Williams) that he would never be able to repent and that he was headed to hell…because he believed this lie, he was vulnerable to being sucked back in to try to gain back his salvation. What a tragedy!

      • I do not know if this young lady will be accepted back or not. The greatest danger is to her two young daughters. SD would love to get them in their control even if Mom is still shunned.

        My prayer and hope is to be able to find a mature Christian local family to exercise guidance and be a “family” for her as my wife and family have for the last year here.

        SD does have some great points. They teach much truth in a great way such as their baby and toddler “Quite Time” box. I love teaching little ones with this method. But the hearts of the leaders there are hardened and they refuse to correct the scriptures they had twisted. Young people grow up in their control and have trouble in seeing the truth of God’s Word as they are guided by the Holy Spirit. The control of congregation members is devious and scary.

  4. I am not sure that last post was posted or not – it just was there and then gone. So I will repost as best I can.

    I do not know if this young lady will be accepted back or not. But the Greatest danger is with her two little daughters. SD would love to have them under their control even if Mom is still shunned.

    My greatest wish is to find a mature local Christian Family to accept her as a sister Christian and help guide her and show Christ’s love to her and daughters.

    I must reluctantly grant praise to some of SD’s teaching and methods. They are not all bad. There are gems of truth scattered about. I learned their “Quiet Time Box” method of teaching babies and toddlers about God’s Creation and love teaching this. So rewarding!

    In the meantime her Midwest “family” is praying for her.

    • I am quite sure they will take her back, but I can tell you that they will not allow any outside influence…that is how they operate…no one else “has the cross” so they have no right to speak into her life.

      I posted to her on Facebook, but I don’t know if she will see it. I am more frightened than anything that her 2 girls will be within reach of the pedophile, Malcolm Fraser.

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