Elation and Sorrow

Its hard to articulate the state of my heart this morning. After hearing the news that justice was served in the trial, that the accused was found guilty on all counts, that vindication had finally come…I must admit I was in shock…it was an unusual mix of elation and sorrow.

Sorrow for the fact that I, under the influence of Sound Doctrine for 12 years, hurt so many people close to me…and all “in the name of Jesus”… Sorrow for those who are still deceived and held captive by the lies of the evil one…and at the same time, elation that this may be the beginning of the end for Sound Doctrine and WinePress, the end of the unrelenting and horrible abuse meted out on the poor, deceived followers of the wolf in sheep’s clothing, Tim Williams.

When I read this devotional this morning, I was struck by this line…”But the sense of triumph must come from the memory of the chain.” And thus the bittersweet feeling lingering in my heart…I too clearly recall the chains of legalism and deception that kept me believing in a lie for so long…and so the sense of triumph is tempered with a serious recollection of my own part in promoting what I now know to be a lie from the pit of hell.

God has taught me a new song through it all, but it came at a great cost to many. As I close this door on my past and walk through the new door God has opened for me, I sing a song of God’s great faithfulness.

Streams in the Desert – May 30

“And no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth.”

Rev. 14:3.

THERE are songs which can only be learned in the valley. No art can teach them; no rules of voice can make them perfectly sung. Their music is in the heart. They are songs of memory, of personal experience. They bring out their burden from the shadow of the past: they mount on the wings of yesterday.

St. John says that even in Heaven there will be a song that can only be fully sung by the sons of earth─the strain of redemption. Doubtless it is a song of triumph, a hymn of victory to the Christ who made us free. But the sense of triumph must come from the memory of the chain.

No angel, no archangel can sing it so sweetly as I can. To sing it as I sing it, they must pass through my exile, and this they cannot do. None can learn it but the children of the Cross.

And so, my soul, thou art receiving a music lesson from thy Father. Thou art being educated for the choir invisible. There are parts of the symphony that none can take but thee.

There are chords too minor for the angels. There may be heights in the symphony which are beyond the scale heights which angels alone can reach; but there are depths which belong to thee, and can only be touched by thee.

Thy Father is training thee for the part the angels cannot sing; and the school is sorrow. I have heard many say that He sends sorrow to prove thee; nay, he sends sorrow to educate thee, to train thee for the choir invisible.

In the night He is preparing thy song. In the valley He is tuning thy voice. In the cloud He is deepening thy chords. In the rain He is sweetening thy melody. In the cold He is moulding thy expression. In the transition from hope to fear He is perfecting thy lights.

Despise not thy school of sorrow, O my soul; it will give thee a unique part in the universal song.

“Is the midnight closing round you?

Are the shadows dark and long?

Ask Him to come close beside you,

And He’ll give you a new, sweet song.

He’ll give it and sing it with you;

And when weakness lets it down,

He’ll take up the broken cadence,

And blend it with His own.

“And many a rapturous minstrel,

Among those sons of light,

Will say of His sweetest music,

` I learned it in the night.’

And many a rolling anthem,

That fills the Father’s home,

Sobbed out its first rehearsal,

In the shade of a darkened room.”

14 thoughts on “Elation and Sorrow

  1. I, too, feel great sorrow for those still deceived – and for the young girls who had their innocence stripped from them in such a horrific way.

    At the same time, I feel such joy for your deliverance and that of many others. Only God can restore lives. Praise Him!!

  2. Bless you Athena for your perseverance through this storm. You stood resolute and firm throughout. Praise God that the courts got it right. In any case, the final judgment is the Lord’s.

  3. Hello, I have been following your blog for some time now. All I can say is that I cannot believe what happened! But well we must wait for God´s justice, and it finally came.
    I hope you continue to heal and help other heal as well
    Blessings!

  4. I’ve been following all this stuff…this was my comment to Sound Doctrine Church, & my comment to anyone with eyes to see & ears to hear.

    The sad part about the theological work I do is seeing folks fail. After experiencing the collapse of two churches due to pastor misconduct, I became a theologian with an emphasis on how these kinds of things come to pass. I’ve been doing this for close to 15 years now I think. I’ve been following Sound Doctrine current events because of my scholastic sway, as well as my familiarity with the folks at the Salt Shaker (from taking my kids to Wednesday’s children’s reading time).

    So, after all this study my theological discovery is this: Churches & Christians fail when there’s no Torah with their Messiah.

    Unaware of 2000 years of mounting Biblical heresy (or much of any history for that matter), Christians believe the Law of Moses was abolished by Jesus’ death. Having no Law to guide them and therefore no real understanding of God’s definition of righteousness, they attempt to “listen to the Spirit.” The trouble is they do not know that God has instructed us to keep His Law in-part to differentiate between the Holy Spirit & other deceiving spirits…or our own will presumptuously cast upon the Holy Spirit. The end result is a myriad of churches with a myriad of conflicting teachings…and, of course, plenty of misconduct. The real irony to all of this is most Christian churches are just as guilty as the Pharisees in Matthew 15, keeping their traditions instead of the Torah.

    And how incredibly sad…they have no idea how much Torah is in the Apostolic writings, nor how much Messiah is in the Tanach (aka “old testament”). They lose one how open & understandable Scripture becomes when we live by what God commands instead of lawlessness & “Christianized,” unBiblical paganisms.

    Re-read your Bible without the commentaries & doctrines of Modern Christendom. Let the Word tell you directly how the Torah is our guide, how Jesus became the living Torah by keeping it perfectly, so he could be the unblemished lamb. Let Scripture show you how the Apostles kept Torah long after Messiah’s death and how Jesus & the Apostles commanded us to do the same, even to this day.

    One final observation…Scripture says that ignorance of Torah is one thing, but rejection of Torah when one becomes aware of it’s eternal/universal nature is quite another. In my years as a Torah-observant Christian I’ve shared my knowledge with quite a few people. It’s uncanny…often after I have made them aware of Torah & they reject it something absolutely awful happens to them. I’d been taking my children to the Salt Shaker’s children’s story time & discussed Torah as well as Sound Doctrine theology with the folks there. The next moment Fraser was being arrested. Sometimes I feel like God’s grim reaper!

    Read you Bible
    Numbers 6:24-26
    Shalom

    ~KS

  5. I’ve been reading a LOT of material S.D. has produced defending themselves. There’s no way I’ll ever get through it all. The pure, unmitigated stupidity of this Tim guy allowing his mouth to run on and on is just baffling. And his writing is so replete with rhetorical language it’s insulting to think he expects me to take it seriously when I read it.

    Is there not one among them that has an ounce of common sense to tell Tim to shut up? What about their legal council; is their attorney so inept she never thought to tell their client to stop talking so much?

    LOL has Tim been trying to help Fraser or destroy him with all his writing? Tim’s Web sites provide more lowbrow entertainment than an entire season of Jerry Springer.

    Have none of them read Proverbs 13:3, “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin”?

    This Tim guy reminds me of Isaiah 19, which describes how YHVH has cursed Egypt to be stupid, “YHVH has poured into them a spirit of dizziness; they make Egypt [or Tim in this case] stagger in all that she does, as a drunkard staggers around in his vomit.”

    This guy would have really benefited from going to Dr. Evil’s School of Cult Leadership and Henchman Management before he set up shop.

    I gotta say, Tim is a “cult-chaser’s” dream.

    • Tim Williams is an angry man. He has issues and is too arrogant to admit it and get help. He is also a master proof texter, so he uses scripture out of context to defend his behavior…he has deliberately used scriptures about God’s righteous indignation to justify his sinful anger. And because of that, his followers would NEVER tell him to shut up! He quotes scriptures like “where words are many sin is not absent” to get his sheep to rail against anyone who is the least bit talkative, while he does the very thing he preaches against. Hmmmmm….I think Jesus had something to say about people who do that…

  6. RE: Isa 19…actually Tim would be the dizzy one, the church members would be Egypt 😉

  7. Another thing that’s occurring at Sound Doctrine Church is they’re basing their theology in Arminianism, which invariably leads to salvation-by-works theology. Jacobus Arminius (1560-1609) rejected Scriptures which describe our eternal security, where God says He chose His sheep even before the world was even formed.

    THIS is the essence of salvation by grace…the predestination of His sheep. We who are saved were chosen before we ever sinned. It is a demonstration of God’s sovereignty, and is what makes our good works worthless in attaining salvation.

    Simply put, the Bible states there are 3 kinds of people…the saved, the lost who will one day be found, & those who were designed NOT to be saved. As Paul states in Romans, God’s King, He makes the rules, & how we feel about the “fairness” of this has no bearing on what God decides to do.

    Arminianism teaches every man has a spark of the divine (don’t all false doctrines teach man is a god in some way). According to him, we need to work to harness this divine nature so we can attain salvation. His theology introduces the ideas like:

    1. We have to GET saved
    2. Don’t LOSE your salvation!
    3. We have to GET others saved, too!
    4. Are you sure you’re saved??
    5. That guy WAS saved, but now he’s not.

    None of this is true.
    I recommend Arminianists read Romans 9 to start.

  8. Arminianism also introduces the heresy of “sinless perfection.” We had housekeepers once who were Arminius-style ministers…according to them, because they were saved they were actually INCAPABLE of sinning. Anything another would define as sin, these folks blamed on Satan in order to maintain their sense of personal sinlessness.

    Perhaps you can see how all of this correlates to Tim’s teaching & church domination.

  9. BTW, Tim’s book, “Bad Fruit” demonstrates his complete rejection of the eternal security YHVH promises His believers. Rejection of God’s sovereignty in this way really paves the way for a guru to step on the scene to “govern” salvation.

    • Exactly…a cult Leader’s dream! This doctrine enables the leader to become the Holy Spirit (in reality an IDOL) and use those scriptures to keep the sheep in total terror that they will go to hell. I remember once Tim had us all sit in the conference room at WinePress. He went down the rows, telling each person, “if you don’t repent, you are going to hell”…oh yeah, everyone was going to hell except for his 2 boys, their wives, Carla and Malcolm! WOW…that’s some amazing arrogance on his part, and heartbreaking blindness in his followers… praise God He opened my eyes to the Truth!

      • Athena, Tim Williams is a very judgmental man which the Bible forbids (warns against) in Matthew 7:1-7. He ignores the Word of God. He is very dangerous like a wolf in sheep’s clothing to fool his small group (sheep).

        Malcolm Fraser will spend his time in prison after the July 26 sentencing. I hope that he will spend his time and THINK real hard, deep down, to see where he was BEFORE he moved to Enumclaw. I am praying and asking God to open his eyes, not only him but that small So0und Doctrine group… that they will SEE the light before it is too late.

      • A church should be a place where people love each other and encourage each other. Not TEAR each other DOWN or give heavy CRITICISM that God warn against according to His Word.

        Also, the early church’s advise by wisdom Peter stated on God’s Word: Feed them (by Jesus to Peter) to BUILD their spiritual to grow maturity from babe with (warmly friendly) milk to feed their hunger/thirsty. Tim showed that he had NO patience – keep tell them that they have no spiritual by his criticism with NO love whatever. He IGNORED God’s Word (switch and twist) on his (Tim)’s Word with his belly! BEWARE of this man-made system!

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