The Double Edged Sword of Silence

I’ve been making my way through Edie Melson’s “Soul Care: When You’re Weary” and am encountering the faithfulness of God in new ways.

There was one exercise that hit me hard and got me thinking more about the power of words. Edie listed a group of words and asked us to pick one, think about it for 5 minutes, and then write what comes to mind. Since my life revolves around words, the editing, publishing, and promotion of, this was a significant ah-hah moment for me. I chose the word SILENT.

SILENT

All of my life I’ve had people tell me to “be quiet.”

First my mom, then my maid (about our “little secret”), then my teachers, then my husbands (not Ross), then my “pastor.” I guess I’ve been an interrupter in some ways – but have been made to feel unworthy of speaking so the shame took over and had its way with me.

It went to the extreme when I fell prey to a toxic, narcissistic, spiritually abusive church leader who pounded that shame into my very being using scripture out of context. There were times where my punishment for not “obeying leadership” was that I would not be allowed to speak to anyone, or even send emails to communicate. Shunned into complete silence.

Even now, when I bring up issues that stir up emotions, like the fact that there are sexual predators in the Christian publishing industry and in the evangelical church, I often hear “Stop talking about this! Can we please just extend forgiveness and move on?”
So I’m seeing that silence has a few different sides.

First, there is being shushed or silenced when we should speak up and address conflict or expose evil, and the flip side is talking or expounding when we should be still and asking God what He says.

Then there is the discipline of solitude to be still and connect with God, meditating on His Word contrasted by the many ways the enemy thwarts this process. He is a master of drawing us away from silence with busyness or drama or anxiety.

So, silence can be a good thing or a bad thing.

Mostly for me, it has been punished and shaming for being verbal and outspoken. Early on as a strong-willed child, and more recently for bringing up and into the light difficult issues that stir up pain. Pain that God wants to be healed but the wounded wish would just go away.

But it’s also something I struggle with when I need to be still and listen for God and my mind is going a million miles a minute.

Silence. It’s a double-edged sword. It can bring death or life. Bondage or freedom. Pain or joy.
Worth pondering in more detail and depth… so am I the only one who struggles like this?

Cult Survivor’s Faith Journey Brings Her Full Circle

Press Release from Icon Media Group – Media Contact: Katie Powell Bell

Athena Dean Holtz shares the deception that wrecked her life and how she found her way back into the arms of Jesus in new book.

NASHVILLE, Tenn., February 2017— From a young age, Athena Dean Holtz chased affirmation and attention from all the wrong sources, leaving her empty and alone. A victim of physical abuse and spiritual deception, she was deceived by Scientology, forays into mysticism and 12 years in a restrictive and legalistic cult, she lost everything—her marriage, relationships, home, business, money and reputation. In her forthcoming book Full Circle: Coming Home to the Faithfulness of God (Redemption Press, Feb. 27, 2017), Holtz candidly tells her story of self-discovery, redemption and freedom as she surrendered to Jesus.

“This is the story of how God brought me full circle,” writes Holtz. “How he brought me home . . . to a place I had always longed for, but never knew how to find.”

In Full Circle, Holtz vulnerably shares her journey and gives readers a front-row seat to her story of a shattered life restored. An important story for anyone who has questioned his or her worth or direction; Holtz proves that anyone who believes God and invites Him to join in their trials welcomes the result of His triumph. Full Circle offers not only her life story but biblical answers to the raw questions she asked during the peaks and valleys of her life.

“Knowing how much God loves me, I am finding my significance in Him rather than in what I do or with whom I am associated.”

Holtz is available for interviews. Potential interview topics include:

• Good grief: how to embrace life’s most painful moments to find true peace
• If God is good, why does he allow bad things to happen?
• Five ways to fight the thorns of insecurity
• From hurt to happiness: three steps that healed me
• Seven common pursuits that rob us of true joy
• How I escaped life in a cult
• Bless this mess: God’s perfect love for your imperfect life

About the Author

Athena Dean Holtz has been at the forefront of Christian custom publishing for the last 30 years. The co-founder of WinePress Publishing, she now leads Redemption Press. Author of three previous books and a highly-rated personal blog, she serves as president of the Northwest Christian Writer’s Association, is a president’s club member of the Christian Women in Media Association, and a member of the Advanced Writer & Speaker Association. She serves as host and interviewer on “Always Faithful Radio,” KCIS, Seattle. Married to Ross Holtz, pastor of The Summit, Athena enjoys her grandchildren and time spent sailing. The couple makes their home in Enumclaw, Wash.

Autographed copies available at www.redemption-press.com/shop/product/102606

Ebook available now:

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Toxic Leader Behavior and Proverbs 6

I’m studying Proverbs in my Sunday School class and was reading Proverbs 6 yesterday. Verses 16-19 resonated in my heart in a new way as I began to understand how the Lord feels about those who use His word to manipulate and control those who are genuinely desiring to follow Him.

As I looked through every line of this section of the text, I was amazed, once again, at how toxic leaders, in my experience it was Tim Williams specifically, preach against the very things they do, and accuse those under their care of doing the very things they are guilty of.

There are six things the Lord hates—
no, seven things he detests:
¹⁷ haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent,
¹⁸ a heart that plots evil,
feet that race to do wrong,
¹⁹ a false witness who pours out lies,
a person who sows discord in a family.

Haughty eyes and a lying tongue. The foundation of a toxic leader and a common accusation Tim Williams made of anyone who questioned his authority or the way he used scripture. It was always someone else who was haughty, arrogant, and prideful… someone else who was lying, when all along it was (and still is) he who is the liar. Just take a look at the website he created to try to come across as an authority. www.enumclaw.com. When he couldn’t get the City of Enumclaw to acquiesce to his demands, he used it to smear anyone (myself included) who stood up for the truth, making it look like an official publication of our city. What a LIE! And this is only one example, for more on that, read this post.

Hands that kill the innocent. Interesting that Tim and his late wife, Carla, always went after those with disabilities who were developmentally disabled in some way, and of course those who were so broken from childhood abuse, vulnerable souls, who were easily manipulated. I’ve come to find out all con men and wolves target those who are easily controlled for a variety of reasons. They may not physically kill them, but emotionally and spiritually, they accomplish the task well.

I think back to the time when Tim Williams began blogging, out of the blue, about the Innocence Project and how so many people are sent to prison when they are not guilty. He followed those rants with the topic of false memory syndrome, declaring you could never trust a person who says they were sexually abused as a child. He was diabolically building a case he knew would surface in the future, as his timing was telling. He started blogging on these topics shortly after the family whose daughter was pedophile Malcolm Fraser’s sexual abuse victim left the cult. I believe Malcolm confessed his crime to Tim and Tim developed this plot to hide the truth. A heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong. He crafted his plan to brainwash his followers so no one would even ask the question, could Malcolm be guilty? There are still a handful of followers who stand convinced that Malcolm is innocent, even though he was found guilty on all charges. All as a result of a heart that plots evil to cover up a crime.

A false witness who pours out lies. Tim Williams had his followers lie on the witness stand during Malcolm’s child rape trial. I was appalled as I read the testimonies, thinking to myself, how can he justify the lies? Oh, that’s right, Sarah lied and said she was Abraham’s sister, so that must make it OK. More on that here.

The last verse jumped off the page as I pondered the wake of broken families in his path, mine being only one of many. Using scripture out of context, Tim Williams sowed discord in families. Turned wives against husbands, husbands against wives, children against their parents, adult children against their parents, all in an attempt to gain control. He intentionally would keep one or two families together just to be able to point to them to say he wasn’t destroying families. What evil. To use Luke 14:26 to divide families so that those under his care were easier to control for his own benefit. Interesting that this is a common scripture used in cults to keep their prey from staying in touch with those who don’t buy in.

Shame on you, Tim Williams.

Shame on you.

I would not want to stand before God in your shoes.

And to all who remain loyal to this man who, on all 7 counts exhibits behavior that the Lord hates, I pray for the courage you’ll need to finally realize you’ve been led astray. It was hard for me too, but the peace that comes from admitting the truth, no matter how painful, is more than worth it.

More on Toxic Leaders and How to Identify Them

Brad Sargent aka Futuristguy has cheered me on for years now, ever since I started blogging about my spiritual abuse experience at the hands of Timothy Shelby Williams, founder of Sound Doctrine Institute.

What an honor it was to spend time with him yesterday discussing the possible publishing of his life work. The overall series is for both survivors of spiritual abuse (and their support networks) and organizational developers (social activists, church planters, church and non-profit leaders), and is about deconstructing systems that damage and constructing systems that are healthy.

As we discussed the content and I scanned through some of the charts, I was stunned to see such accurate descriptions of the toxic leadership roles common in unhealthy organizations. Yep, there’s nothing new under the sun… evil men who are puppets of the evil one use the same tactics to control and manipulate those under their influence.

I’m sharing 2 charts that were particularly meaningful to me. You can view the articles on these particular topics on Brad’s blog here.

The two that captured my attention were the comparison of organizations run by agents of damage vs. agents of healing and the pyramid of responsibility. So telling. If you’ve ever been involved in a toxic organization, you’ll be able to identify the roles your leaders played pretty easily. I know I did.

My experience may have been the extreme end of the spectrum, but there are so many other examples of this type of abuse in the church today. I hear from people all the time who’ve survived abuse in the church. Sadly, many of them lose their faith and never return. Just what the enemy was hoping for.

As you read these charts, does any of it resonate with you?

I’d love to hear your comments.

Freedom in the New Year

Tonight marks the 5^th New Year’s Eve I’ve celebrated since God opened my eyes to the deception I believed was truth for 12 years.

It must be difficult for the handful still left in Sound Doctrine to ask themselves the question…could it be true…that what you’ve believed is a lie? That someone you trusted and believed in could actually be guilty of the crime he was convicted of? That it really is a destructive cult? That the leader you follow does not speak for God? That you’ve been led astray?

Being willing to ask those hard questions takes courage, and a humble heart.

I commit this New Year to continue praying for those still blinded by the enemy’s lies.

At the same time I rejoice in my growing ability to ignore those who, as a result of believing those lies, call evil good and good evil.

I choose healthy boundaries, and I say “no” to:

• The bullying.
• The name calling.
• The fury.
• The intimidation.

Here’s the deal…those tactics don’t work on me anymore.

And that’s healthy.

And I praise God for that.

To all who’ve been led astray and to those who’ve found true freedom in Christ outside of the cult of Sound Doctrine, I pray that He continues to draw you to Himself and heal every wound caused by the enemy of our souls.

Happy New Year!

Discovering More About the Enemy’s Strategies

On the anniversary of my fourth year out of the cult of Sound Doctrine, I am praising God to be able to connect even more dots as to the why’s and how’s of my 12 year detour into deception.

As I taught this last weekend at a ladies’ retreat, I covered areas of vulnerability that can leave anyone open to deception. I used some quotes from a book we developed for ministry back in the late 90s and as I read this one section to the ladies, it took my breath away how precisely the enemy of my soul used these tactics through the leadership of the wolf in sheep’s clothing, Tim Williams.

This is the section of the book, Behind Enemy Lines, where the guerrilla warfare tactics are compared to the way Satan operates, and any comments I add will be italicized:

The following list of ways the enemy fought is by no means compete, but it will serve to show you some of the tactics used by the Viet Cong (VC) and North Vietnamese soldiers to kill, maim, harass, and disrupt our war strategies. You will see how these methods match Satan’s ways in fighting us in the spirit realm.

• The VC attempted to look as much like the civilian population as possible. (Satan disguises himself and can even look like a friend – an angel of light.)

Tim Williams used his wife, Carla, to draw people into his initiative. She found her way into positions of credibility so that she would be seen as friend, not foe. That was a very effective strategy…it sucked me in, and in the end, gained him a publishing company to further his agenda and doctrine.

• The VC did not fight for physical territory…they fought to win the hearts and minds of people. (If Satan can shift our attention, our zeal, our time, our hearts and our minds onto something other than Jesus and the Great Commission, he has won. We have fallen into idolatry without even knowing it. He has captured our heart and mind leaving us unfruitful and ineffective in the Kingdom of God.)

The enemy used Tim Williams to shift our attention off winning souls and onto promoting his agenda, his doctrine, his message that ultimately divided families and destroyed lives. His twisting of scripture rendered the hearts and minds of his followers ineffective to discern the truth from a lie.

• The VC deployed booby-traps along trails to destroy our confidence. By blowing off the arms and legs of our buddies along the march, our purpose and confidence was weakened. We were taking casualties, but never saw the enemy because after the explosives were detonated the enemy could watch the destruction from afar—out of harm’s way (Satan knows he cannot win the war, but if he can set enough traps along our walk to make us hurt and be unsure of our faith then he can keep us from being effective witnesses for Christ. He usually wreaks enough misery from a distance that we sometimes forget who the real foe is. Many times we target each other as the enemy because he (the devil) is not an obvious player in the scenario).

Tim was a master manipulator and using shame based theology he set traps to beat us down and make us question our ability to hear God and discern His will.

• The VC used innocent civilians, even to the point of destroying them, as decoys to undermine our security and confidence. It was a common practice to strap explosive charges on small children and send them into groups of G.I.s to make friends and win their affection. When the child would get close enough, the communist soldier would detonate the charge with a remote switch—taking out the G.I.s and the child. (Often Satan will use even good things to win our affections. Once he has accomplished this, he ambushes us and attempts to destroy us.)

Tim effectively used children as pawns in his game of deception. He and his wife openly shamed the parents, telling them they were unfit to lead their children in the Lord, and then turned the children against their parents, building into them complete loyalty to their new “granny and grandpappy.” That inevitably made the parents more dedicated to the wolf’s doctrine and agenda because they didn’t want to lose their kids or grandkids.

• The VC tried to get us to mistakenly kill our fellow warriors. One particular tactic he used was what we called “cutting the pie.” At night, when we would stop daylight operations in the jungle, we would dig into night-defensive positions. The entire unit formed into a large circle (pie) for protection. Normally, there were two men to a hole, and one slept while the other kept watch for enemy activity. The VC would probe a point in the perimeter circle, making a lot of noise to attract attention, and would try to take a slick out of the “pie.” After making the noise, they would pull back into the jungle and hope we would fire our weapons in the direction of the noise—which would be at our own men on the other side of the circle. (Satan deploys the same strategy against us. He creeps into our midst and causes disruptive “noise,” and then pulls back into his jungle and waits for us to kill each other. He tries his best to cause fights, quarrels, dissatisfaction and dissention in our midst. All the while he has distanced himself and remains the undetected source of trouble. This tactic is evident in almost every church or fellowship in Christendom. Most pastors can attest to this.)

This was common in the cult. No one was safe, people were used against each other in order to further the wolf’s agenda and provide information to be used against them in the future to his advantage.

• The VC attempted to stay close to U.S. military units. They knew that the closer they could be to us—especially in a firefight—the less likely it was that we would call in artillery or air support, in fear of directing the incoming fire on ourselves. (Satan sends his forces against us in the same manner. He gets as close to us as possible so that we cannot determine which direction to call in “air support” to take him out. Many times he is so close that we completely overlook him when he is in our midst.)

There was always lots of talk and preaching of Satan and his strategies, when the reality was he was in the midst of this group and calling all the shots, in the Name of Jesus.

WOW. Reading this book again after all these years, with 20/20 hindsight, it’s amazing to see how the enemy worked to steal, kill and destroy our family, business, and faith.

Today is, however, a victory day. Four years ago I escaped the mind-control and evil deception of Sound Doctrine and Tim Williams, and am connecting new dots as I review the schemes of the evil one and more clearly see how he worked in my life and the life of my family.

Let me be clear. I am not one who sees a demon behind every doorknob. But I have to say, the church had better wake up and realize how the enemy works. There is just too much at stake and there are too many opportunities for him to come in and deceive. I am living proof of that, and I praise God He rescued me from that deception. There continue to be too many others caught in the enemy’s grip through Tim Williams and Sound Doctrine, and other spiritually abusive leaders out there. Oh God, please open their eyes, in Jesus’ Name!

My Independence Day

It’s been 44 months since I gained my independence from toxic leadership.

As I thought through the characteristics of this type of destructive leadership and what I am no longer dependent on, I could only praise God for opening my eyes, delivering me from deception, and giving me the courage to warn the rest of the body of Christ.

There are many red flags we MUST be aware of that characterize a toxic church. At the same time, I cannot over-emphasize the importance of us as Bereans understanding scripture IN CONTEXT, being willing to respectfully question and search out the truth, not just believing what someone says because they are a persuasive communicator who quotes a lot of scripture.

Here’s the full post that illustrates what to watch for in leadership, and may we be ever thankful for the independence that Jesus has given us by giving up His life for us.

Nothing New Under the Sun When it Comes to Cults

If you’ve ever heard my story, you know that I come from a New Age background and was involved in Scientology back in the ‘70s before I ever heard the gospel. This last Sunday evening, we watched the HBO documentary on Scientology, called “Going Clear” which included a number of people who have had the courage to leave the cult, and stand up and tell their stories. They spoke out even though each one experienced tremendous backlash and ongoing harassment by the “church” and their loyal followers.

There were so many similarities in how Scientology deals with criticism and former members who speak up and how Sound Doctrine behaves it was chilling.

I sat stunned as the video footage of L.Ron Hubbard spilled across the screen, giving me a glimpse of what a nut case he was. I realized as I was watching the documentary that, for the seven years I was involved and on staff at the Celebrity Centre, I never saw even one of those interviews with him. The only thing I was ever exposed to was the headshot of him in his skipper’s hat where he looks pretty normal and credible.

Ding, ding, ding!

First parallel

LIMIT ACCESS TO TRUTH

Limit what the loyal members of the organization see and hear about the leader and his activities. Only let them see and read what makes him look good. It’s much easier to play word games with a printed document than it is to edit a video. And words can be quoted completely out of context and end up looking and sounding completely different than when they were originally spoken. Those who are intent on keeping others controlled and in bondage will twist words like a pretzel if it gets them what they want.

THREATS & BLACKMAIL

Using private information against a potential threat (or as Scientology calls it, a Potential Trouble Source) in an attempt to shut them up is the order of the day in cults. The church of Scientology amasses intimate information about each member’s life through their process of counseling (called auditing), and threatens to use it to destroy a person’s reputation if they happen to question the abuses they see or show in any way that they may be thinking about leaving the organization. Because of this, many high profile people have stayed in the organization against their better judgment because of the promised threat of humiliation. And everyone involved in speaking out on this documentary had smear campaigns launched with dedicated websites and all manner of lies spread all over the internet.

Tim Williams was a master at this. He would have me put my repentance and confession into writing to document whenever he got me to a point of turning everything back onto myself and believing I was wrong for questioning his integrity or actions. These situations would always turn inward to search my heart and repent for my accusations, which were surely of the devil. I would have to apologize in writing and admit that I had a bitter root, and that I was focusing on the speck in his eye instead of the log in my own.

I was persuaded using scripture to say that Tim was the man of God that He put in my life and I was in sin to question his authority. I would then be required to list all the sinful aspects of my character and personality and grovel in order to prove my repentance, (this was supposed to show that I was walking in the light and the only way I could be healed by the Lord). He would then file these documents away to use at a later date to disprove that any criticism I could ever possibly make if I ever left Sound Doctrine. These documents would be used to try to prove that anything I say that is negative is a lie since I have apologized in the past for the same behavior.

More specifically with the fraudulent sale of WinePress, he made sure I wrote up a statement saying I was selling the company of my own free will, that it was my desire to do so, that I was unfit to run the company, and that if any of my children say otherwise not to listen to them. I was made to feel that I would be in rebellion if I did not declare my allegiance in writing and that was the last thing I wanted to be. As is fitting with this characteristic of a cult, he has some of those very documents I penned posted on the website he created to destroy my reputation!

FEAR OF PUNISHMENT

One of the long time Scientologists in the documentary talked about how he never read any of the stuff online about Scientology. That he was loyal and was convinced that anything negative online was put on there by suppressive people who’d left the church and been excommunicated, so their words could not be trusted. It was actually only after 35 years and a nagging inside that he finally started reading what others were saying and realized they were speaking truth, and it really was abuse that he was experiencing, and it was wrong!

The more I thought about it, I realized how the Scientology leadership is able to keep people from looking at what people are saying or doing any kind of research on criticism. And it’s amazing how similar it is to what Sound Doctrine did! During the course of a Scientologist’s auditing, the question would always be asked by the counselor “Did I miss a withhold?” A withhold being something you don’t want them to know about. Actually, I just looked it up on a site that exposes the cult:

A Withhold is an unspoken, unannounced transgression against a moral code by which the person was bound.

As a loyal member, dedicated to the moral code of Scientology, if you read any of the critical analyses of the organization, you knew good and well that, if you admitted it, you would be in big trouble, disciplined and abused in horrific ways. But of course, you believed that you would have deserved that kind of discipline for your bad behavior. That’s all part of the brain washing and mind control.

WOW.

Tim Williams did the same thing. We were convinced early on, with lots of scripture, that anyone saying anything negative about Tim or Sound Doctrine was in sin, a “wide road Christian” with a bitter root, a false witness, a Judas, and generally just someone who is selfish and doesn’t really want God but just wants their own way so we should have nothing to do with them. I can’t even find the scripture now, but Tim always used to quote “Whoever listens to a false witness will be destroyed.” So of course, if you ever read anything critical about Tim’s handling of scripture or the doctrine he pushes, you’d feel incredibly guilty (even if you wondered if they were right in the criticism). So guilty, in fact, that you’d be compelled to confess it as sin, and would then be disciplined for your rebellion, your bitter root and for becoming a Judas. You would be cut off from fellowship from the rest of the body, and likely put “outside the camp” like Miriam was when she rebelled against Moses. If that happens a time or two, you definitely determine to avoid reading anything that could bring Tim or Sound Doctrine into question…out of self-preservation!

INTIMIDATION THROUGH ATTORNEYS

The last huge parallel I will mention today is the standard practice of Scientology utilizing lawsuits to bully others into giving them what they want. The documentary talked about them taking on the IRS to get their 501©3 status, and how they had members file lawsuits against IRS tax auditors INDIVIDUALLLY, to the tune of thousands of individual lawsuits. It was a tidal wave of intimidation that the IRS finally caved under and gave them what they wanted to get all the lawsuits to go away.

That reminds me of Tim Williams having all the cult members write letters to the Insurance Commissioner to try to get State Farm Agent Tony Truax’s license suspended. All because he was willing to stand against them and their bullying.

Tony had told me that 3 single women from Sound Doctrine had tried to purchase million dollar policies and put Tim down as the beneficiary. All three of the ladies came into his office at different times and used the same reason and story as to why there was an insurable interest. He was so troubled by this when it happened that he reported it to the Enumclaw Police. When Tim got wind that I’d been told about this he demanded an apology from Tony and Tony would not offer one, on any terms. When Tim couldn’t get what he wanted, he had all the members cancel their insurance policies. When that didn’t work he had them all call State Farm and complain and try to get him fired. When that didn’t work, he had them all write letters to the Insurance Commissioner and filed a formal complaint to get his license revoked. When all was said and done, Sound Doctrine LOST the suit they filed with the state agency. Praise God they didn’t cave like the IRS did!

With today being April 1, 2015, exactly 5 years from when Tim Williams and Sound Doctrine got legal possession of WinePress Publishing (albeit fraudulently), I thought it timely to have seen the documentary of a secular cult and discover how similar the tactics were in a conservative Christian cult, both organizations originating from the pit of hell….hmmmmm…. nothing new under the sun, huh?

When the Truth Becomes a Lie

I Googled my full name the other day (Athena Dean Holtz) and stumbled upon the latest twist in the ongoing rampage against my character. My jaw dropped as I read it…I was stunned at the blatant deception that was communicated. A perfect example of the truth becoming a lie. Here is the statement made about me:

Spokesperson calls Athena Dean a “rabid griper who makes a career of attacking the church.”

This quote was cited on the website created by Tim Williams to smear my reputation and cause people to question my character. The people he most hopes will continue to buy his lies are the handful of followers who continue to consider him a “man of God.” Those whom he’s convinced will be destroyed if they listen to anything I have to say. (Truth be told, if they actually did read everything I’ve written, they’d realize they too have been duped by this con-man who calls himself a pastor).

So how has this truth, this quote about me, become a lie, at the hands of Tim Williams? Here’s how. The way this quote has been cited leads you to believe someone else with authority agrees with Tim Williams, that I have made a career in attacking the church, as in, the body of Christ. But what is the context of this quote about me, and who actually said it?

Since their resignation, the Deans say church members have heckled and harassed them. Scientologists who worked for them have quit. The Deans believe it’s part of a church process called “disconnecting” or “striking a blow to the enemy.” That’s ridiculous, said Ruble, the local Scientology president. Ruble, who oversees 16,000 Scientologists in three Northwest states, called the Deans “rabid gripers” who are making a career of attacking the church.

The full article can be found at this link: http://www.xenu-directory.net/news/library-item.php?iid=1919

Pretty ironic, really.

This was a newspaper article from 1984, 2 years before I became a Christian. And the most compelling parallel is that all those years ago I was standing up to yet another cult… the church of Scientology… another toxic organization that bullies and intimidates anyone who speaks out against them. Amazing how all cults use the same tactics…threats, intimidation, lawsuits towards the defectors, and extreme isolation of those who are still buying the lie…heaven forbid they should learn the truth that they’ve been led astray.

So when you read the quote on the website that was created to expose my “lies” and bring to light the truth about “who I really am,” does it mean something different now…now that you actually know who said it and what church they were referring to?

Of course.

But that’s just exactly how the enemy works. He doesn’t want you to know the truth, because it’s the truth that will set you free. Instead, he wants to keep you in bondage with word games that hide the truth.

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. Col 2:8

Please pray for all those still ensnared by the hollow and deceptive philosophy of Sound Doctrine and Tim Williams. Pray that they Holy Spirit would be able to get through to them and open their blind eyes, and that they would be humble enough to admit the truth…that they’ve been duped.

That’s a hard thing to do when you’ve burned all your bridges.

Just the other day I’d heard about “confirmation bias,” and was amazed at such an accurate description of what happens to people who stay in cults and turn against those who have the courage to leave and expose the truth.

Confirmation bias (also called confirmatory bias or myside bias) is a tendency for people to favor information that confirms their preconceptions or hypotheses regardless of whether the information is true.

It is a type of cognitive bias and a systematic error of inductive reasoning. People display this bias when they gather or remember information selectively, or when they interpret it in a biased way. The effect is stronger for emotionally charged issues and for deeply entrenched beliefs.

I must admit, I lived for 12 years being manipulated by a man who knew how to take advantage of our sinful human nature that looks for a way to prove we are right when we are really dead wrong. I think the Bible calls that PRIDE.

Please, please, please…pray with me that the power of the enemy would be broken in the lives of those who remain loyal to the wolf and that Jesus would draw them back to Himself.

A Letter on Leaders Who Abuse Authority

I received this email and the author agreed to let me share it here…praise God for His truth and Charles’ courage

Dear Athena,

You may not remember me, but we talked once back in the end of 2004. I had signed up with WinePress books to publish a book called “Where is the Fear of God? Finding the Treasure of the Lord”, but I was never able to get it in print through them. I was going to the mission field to Kenya at that time and was trying to get it published before I left. At the time it was so frustrating, for each time we did what they said to do, and each time they came back and blamed the problems on us, when we did exactly what they said. After a year of trying I (and my friend back here in the states, Ros Chin) gave up, forsook the money we had paid to get it printed, and walked away. Little did we know what was taking place at WinePress and that this was right when the takeover was occurring.

When I came back from Kenya in 2009 I tried again to get it published through a ‘secular’ company and in 2 months time I had books on my doorstep, super easy. I never understood why it never worked with WinePress, until you ‘told your story’. So today nearly a decade later I finally understand why God never allowed to be published by WinePress, and I am truly thankful, for God’s ways are higher than our ways. So thank you for not being afraid to tell your story, it has truly encouraged me in several ways.

One of the things that goes far deeper than the publishing of the book was how you and I both were delivered from the snares of the devil. I also found myself in a cult (though for many years I truly felt I was in the best church on earth). But through the years it began to change and more and authority was brought in which abused and manipulated and bullied the members of the church, until finally there in Kenya Nov. 2011 I finally took a stand to say I was not going to compromise and not going to obey a man’s word over Jesus Christ. Well, that was the end for me in that ministry.

Once I brought correction to the leader on where he was contrary to Jesus’ example and his words, now men and women from around the world were stirred up against me to condemn me, strive with me, shame and rebuke me – ‘How could I dare question the man of God?’ Didn’t I know he was ‘Moses’ and the ground would open up and consume me for even questioning him? Now for the first time I felt what so many who were dis-fellowshipped before me must have felt: judgments, condemnations, curses, warnings I would go to hell and my wife and children die if I left their ‘perfect’, ‘loving’ fellowship that was so of God, how deceived I must be even to think they had any error.

Apparently I was even denser in understanding, than others as to what this ministry had become, because I served there faithfully with my whole heart for 22 years. Every friend I had in this world was there. Yes, we did the same things as you. We cut off every one who did not agree with us, we separated ourselves from family members who didn’t submit/agree with our doctrine, Yes, I mortgaged my home, as well as many other church members, and gave it all to the ‘Set Man’, the Lead Elder, so that he could run the ministry. We were not as extreme as some of the practices that you went through (like living in other peoples homes), but it is amazing how many of the practices were identical.

So I know a little of what you went through, and I can honestly say I am sorry you had to endure such things at the hands of one who called himself a man of God. It is the greatest shame. Sadly such men because of the extreme self-deception and over-abundant pride that is in them, cannot see that they are doing ANYTHING wrong. They have an amazing ability to discard their conscience, to justify EVERYTHING they do and to shift blame on others. I just wanted to know I will be praying for you that God will heal your heart and that you will continue with God in fellowship with other believers. That of course is one of the boasts of such men, that ‘everyone that leaves us is shipwrecked’. They truly believe they are ‘messiahs’ and that people are lost without them.

Those who abuse authority in the church always want to gloat that those who leave their ministry are always shipwrecked and don’t serve God anymore and their lives are destroyed. But if we truly received a good foundation at a ministry which prepared us properly as the bride of Christ, shouldn’t many of those who leave continue on faithfully in the Lord? Isn’t that a test of every ministry? Isn’t that the hope of every true parent? “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Pr 22:6  Is it possible that God will inspect the devastation in the lives of those who were associated with a certain man of God and credit that as bad fruit?

Thank God we are not shipwrecked. We will go on to serve God without Diotrephes lording over us. We will be a testimony of those who have been delivered by the Lord himself from the oppressions of unjust men. Such men do not know the devastation which they have caused in the lives of so many who have left their ministry and the condemnations those who leave have had to endure. First, they make those under their rule dependent on them, removing every support they have. Then when some can no longer endure the hypocrisy and are tired of being used and abused, finally decide they must leave. Then they are condemned, shamed, and evil spoken of, so they leave broken, disillusioned, deeply wounded. When such people wander spiritually or many forsake altogether the things of God, such leaders use that as ‘proof’ that they never should have left?! Amazing how such leaders never hear Jesus’ words: “whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” Mt 18:6

I could hear in your words on the Blog, some of the same things I have had to pass through and still at times struggle with: How could I be so stupid not to see what was going on for so long? Why did it take me so long to get out? Why did I let another talk me into what I knew in the depth of my heart was not right. This surely is one of the tools of the devil, to try to crush with shame those who come out of cults. But I pray all who come out of such abusive groups will in time become even stronger through such things to help deliver others who may still be caught in such groups and not even know it.

So thank you and God bless you and lead you. May he heal the places of your heart that were trampled on by the proud and arrogant. They will meet their day, if not before the courts of men, then surely before the court of God. Where will all the men who exalted themselves before God’s people hide themselves on the day of the Lord when he returns?! On that day: “The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the LORD alone shall be exalted in that day. For the day of the LORD of hosts shall be upon every one that is proud and lofty, and upon every one that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low.” Isa 2:11-12

Praise the Lord for his mighty deliverances! He has set the captive free. The day will come when he will show “strength with his arm”, when he will scatter “the proud in the imagination of their hearts”, when he will “put down the mighty from their seats”, and he will exalt them of low degree (Lk 1:51-52). I have to say I was grieved by the first person that responded on your blog. It truly shows how so many have no understanding of the abuse and pain people pass through when they are in such groups. In reality why did we get involved in such? Simply because we had a pure and humble heart and wanted all that God had for us. That is what prideful men of God take advantage of, when they begin telling us what we need to do in our walks with God, and stepping into the place in our heart which only Jesus the Lord is to occupy.

There is a spirit that is working in the earth which works in men who wield authority in the church and subtly they become lifted up just like Lucifer was and now they expect people to listen and obey WHATEVER they say. They become leaders after the manner of the Gentiles exactly like Jesus warned his own 12 that they were NOT to do: What you encountered was none other than the very same spirit of Diotrephes where a man wants preeminence in the church and in the hearts of God’s people, so that he may rule over our faith. But Paul, though he was a man of great authority was never like that. Notice how he and those with him did not “have dominion over”, they did not ‘rule over’ the faith of the believers, but were “helpers of [their] joy: for by faith ye stand.” (2Co 1:24).

Some ministers it seems that their truest joy is not in bringing joy to the believers, but rather in keeping them under their control, in lording over the sheep, and reminding the sheep of all the ‘great things’ that such a minister has done. In such places the leader often gets more attention that Christ Jesus himself! Such ministers want to convince the sheep that they ‘stand’ by their obedience to that man and to his subordinates. But scripture is clear, we stand by faith, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, not faith in men. But I have even heard it said from such men, “All I ask is that you trust in the Lord and trust in the servant of the Lord and when we ask you to do some thing, just to do it.” That may sound innocent to some, but that is unbiblical. That is EXACTLY what the antichrist wants from each of us – just to trust him and do what he says.

I was blessed just yesterday with a scripture. Even God shows us why we should trust him. Why do “the children of men put their trust under the shadow of [his] wings”? because of “how excellent is [his] lovingkindness” (Ps 36:7). But men want to say that “ALL” they want is for you is to just trust them?! We are truly in the last days when men are deceiving and being deceived (2Tim 3:13). When men partake of such a spirit, requiring people to trust them, they indeed have drunk of the Luciferic principle. Praise God for the scriptures, which set us free when we see them rightly.

Ps 146:3: Put NOT your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.

Ps 118:8: It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.

How sad some church leaders use the word of God as a club to beat the sheep into submission, to intimidate and to bully, the very opposite of what Jesus said to do (Mt 20:20-28). Truly many have forgotten the servant model that Jesus left us. Who should be the greatest servants in the church? Many men make it be the sheep, but Jesus said it should be the leaders! How then can a church leader call himself “the Shepherd” (which in truth is no different than saying he is “the Senior or Chief Pastor”) when only Jesus is “the Shepherd” and certainly he is the Chief Shepherd?! How can this be, unless such a man is already drinking of the Luciferic principle! How can a church leader call himself “the set man” or “the lead elder”? unless he is blinded by his own pride and self-importance. How can men praise themselves in the house of God while God is watching, and feel no shame? unless they are Pharisees inside their heart.

Some of the very things you have experienced I also have gone through, although not to the same depth. But it is the same spirit of antichrist authority that would put God’s sheep in bondage to the will of a man and keep them under his control, rather than growing in maturity and being able to discern the will of God for themselves. I pray that you again rejoice to here your Shepherd’s voice (Jesus) as he leads you into the green pastures he has for you.

Sincerely,

Charles von Hammerstein